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Parents and “doing the best we can”

Experience Our relationship to our parents is foundational.  It is the first experience of bonding, connection and relationship upon which the future of our relationships is built.  Everybody has a mother, and everybody has a father – as a biological fact – that connects them also to their grandparents and to their ancestors from whom […]

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Inviting (sometimes radical) Inclusion

  Its been a while since I have posed here.  I’d like to share some thoughts and wonderings over the next few months on specific aspects and subjects encountered regularly Systems Constellations. I also very practically invite you to integrate them into your daily practice so that what you have learnt in the Constellation circle […]

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Wealth and Poverty in the Family

Many wealthy families as well as those struggling financially are turning to family therapy for help, and the importance of the family structure is now well documented in family business as well as the more invisible loyalties we have to wealth and poverty of our parents and our grandparents. One of the things I work […]

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Nature as Teacher

The other day I asked an elder in my community: why is it that some people are so perceptive to the “knowing field” and others, no matter how much training in therapeutic and people skills still can’t see? It seems that the only lens is through theories that they have learned, or applying formulas. Those […]

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Freedom and Responsibility

Freedom is a word that has been on everybody’s lips in South Africa for decades. I often ask myself the question: what does “freedom” really mean? Freedom from prisons? Freedom from the oppressor? Freedom from the past? Outer freedom? And what about inner freedom? We are seeing how people are battling to free themselves from […]

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Is it helpful?

Through observing, experiencing and facilitating various healing modalities, particularly Family Constellations, I have observed that seemingly amazing interventions have not helped the client at all, and quite simple healing movements have had life-changing and profound effects. My therapeutic approach is guided by internally checking in with myself: is this helpful? Does it strengthen the client? […]

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Learning to Observe

Learning to see things as they are is a skill that can be learnt and that can bring huge healing to individuals and families. Learning to see things “as they are” so that one can “acknowledge what is” is an essential skill for being able to meet each moment that unfolds anew. It allows us […]

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Life dished one up for us.

Sometimes life deals harder lessons than the regular daily menu. Our baby girl has been in i.c.u. for 3 months and come close to losing her life. The lesson feels like a Sunday roast, with gravy and roast potatoes. Let me explain this analogy. Ever feel like you have too much on your plate? ’Bitten […]

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the art of presence

I’ve been wondering what our relationships, our families and the world would be like if we lived our lives truly present in the current moment.  Martial artists and spiritual sages have been teaching the concept of “presence” as the path to enlightenment for thousands of years. When we experience “presence” we experience clarity, relaxation and […]

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living life towards beauty

Today I find myself in awe of African cosmology, and how my exploration of it is weaving all the loose threads of understanding together that I have accumulated over many years of study and life experience in various fields. The red thread that runs through it all, has to do with “beauty”. “Beauty” could be […]

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